Foster discusses different acts of Submission that believers are expected to live out. The first is submission to the Triune God. The second is submission to Scripture. The third is submission to our family. The fourth is submission to our neighbors and those with whom we often interact. The fifth is submission to the body of Christ (believers). The sixth is submission to the broken and despised. The seventh is submission to the world.
I had no real plan in practicing discipline this week. I sort of slacked-off on that. I did get to seriously considering the chapter yesterday. I did some reflection, reading of Scripture, and as I kept an eye out for it, found some surprising applications.
The reflection questions in Foster's book challenged me by asking which of the acts of submission I struggled with the most. I struggled most with submitting to the broken and to the world. I am kind of afraid to reach out to mentally challenged, homeless, or poor people. I also don't really care about my community and the world that much in that I am not very concerned about environmental issues or sociological problems. I should pray more about how God can lead me to grow in these areas. I did not do anything about that this week. So there's that.
A pastor usually has three points, but I have four-four ways in which this theme of submission cut strait to my heart. First, I read I John sometime this week. The last words are, "Little children, keep yourselves from idols" (I John 5:1). This week (wow, I'm using the word 'week' often, how weak) I was kind of obsessed with a certain video game that was draining my time and focus on God like a mosquito drains your blood. I was about to play the game again when I remembered this verse and mustered my will-power and did homework instead. Granted their were relapses, which I effectively smothered last night, but I felt genuinely convicted by Scripture.
Second, one of my beloved suit mates presented a message at a worship night this past night. The message was not on submission necessarily, but I was convicted by a fact that I was not giving God 100% of my life. Besides video games, another hindrance and distraction in my life has been Facebook. I made a long post, resigning Facebook at least for a time (Fasting-funny how those other disciplines pop up!).
I wrote
"What should be on my mind? My duty: a responsibility as a child of God to obey him, and offer 100% of my being to God in worship, sacrifice, and devotion. What is Facebook doing? Hindering that. I come on here to waste time or feel good. Jesus didn't waste time in obeying the Father every moment of His life. It didn't feel good. He lived worship. I'm making my life worship right now by fasting from this blue page incessantly on my screen. I was just convicted that giving Jesus 99% is just as selfish and sinful as giving him 0% or 1%. He asks for 100%. That is surrender." And this is submission. In the surrender there is freedom, for you are in Christ.
Thirdly, I took a test this morning with a class. Socializing after the frustrating experience, we all agreed that we did terrible. Everyone was upset. Some considered it unjust. I was upset that I had not studied more. But despite the resentment, I recognized that this professor was in charge, and I had to submit to him.
The fourth point I am hesitant to discuss, for it is in no way resolved, and I have strong emotions surrounding it. I'm going to try to share it, because there is truth somewhere. I received back a graded ten-page essay today. I got a low grade, lower than I probably have ever received on any essay in any of my classes over my life. I am very disappointed in the grade. I am most disappointed in the fact that I consider most of the grading critiques, comments, and conclusions to be rubbish. This is not fair.
I went to a difficult grade school: probably more difficult than most. I started learning Latin in third grade. Once I got to middle school and above, I did not always get A's. I got lots of things wrong, and was challenged constantly to work harder. Nevertheless, I was content in receiving justice for my grades, and even at times grace (i.e. canceling or postponing of assignments). Sometime I did "right," sometimes I did "wrong," but I always trusted my authorities, because I was always told "why."
Oh, great I just thought of Job, maybe that's who I'm being like. God doesn't answer "why" to Job. One of my professors discussed the story of Job and said that the lesson Job learned was that "It's not who you are, but whose you are."
My identity is not in any paper. I could fail and butcher every academic assignment for the rest of life, and never lose my standing with God. He is my standard of justice and accomplishment. My attitude needs correction, for I don't work to please myself or even my teachers.
"Bondservants, obey in everything those who are your earthly masters, not by way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord. Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ. For the wrongdoer will be paid back for the wrong he has done, and there is no partiality" (Colossians 3:22-25 ESV).
I don't know how this frustrating paper and circumstances will be resolved, but I do know that God has appointed this teacher, and my responsibility is to submit to her, and that means agreeing to do work and receive grades from her. Do I have cause for arguing my case? Is that in-contentment or a desire for justice and truth? How far should I go to look for it justice? Is this submission?
I did some running today and came to a spot in the woods. I fell to my knees and prayed to God. Reflecting, I thought that we as humans are so foolish to spend so much time standing on our feet. Do we really think that we are really that much taller? I think about when Isaiah says
It is he who sits above the circle of the earth,
and its inhabitants are like grasshoppers;
who stretches out the heavens like a curtain,
and spreads them like a tent to dwell in;
(Isaiah 40:22 ESV)
God is so great and we are so small.
Can't we fall to our knees just to say that is where we are meant to be-surrendered to His will and helpless apart from Him?
As we prepare our hearts to celebrate Christmas, we celebrate the greatest submission ever: God taking the form of man. God coming to earth in the form of Jesus Christ. Jesus submitted to the Father with every breath.
Take my breaths, Father God, for even they are from you.
I love this post Andrew, especially your 4 points. I also enjoyed the end of this post reminding us how small we are as broken humans and how we are nothing without God, from whom all blessings flow. Thanks for this post and for all of your hard work throughout the semester. I am happy that I could read about and comment on your discipline experiences!
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