Before the beginning of each week of camp, the other counselors and I receive the medical bios of our groups of campers, containing information from birth date, to parental marital status, to allergies. One of the categories is phobias. A surprising number of parents list some of their children's fears as fear of the dark. I find this frightfully queer for parents to note this, considering that our camp operation hours are from 7 am to 6 pm. Why do we have to be aware of an irrational fear? How can one be terrified of darkness in broad daylight? How can fears be so controlling for campers? How can they be so controlling for me?
Many nights I walk back from my camp buildings, up the steep hill towards the house where I stay at camp. Lots of night are dark, and most nights when I walk back alone in the black, I feel afraid.
The path is long (perhaps a quarter mile) and very dark. There are some street lights on the way, and as you pass them, you feel the warmth of the glow, and see the bugs swarm. The glimmer soon fades to gray, and once again the path is bleak. I finally make it up a steep hill and turn into my long, stone-paved drive way, where trees' shadows overhang ominously. Chills crawl up my spine. My imagination, which is always active, besets me.
Fears come. What was that noise? I can’t see in front of me- is the footing safe? Why isn’t the light from my cellphone brighter? Why am I always alone? How do I know I am not alone? Nevertheless, this summer on one of these nights, words came to me, somewhat like a chant, countering my fears desperately,
Christ over me, around me, Christ on my left, Christ on my right, Christ in front of me.
My mind was suddenly bombarded by a reality of not what I did not know, but what I did know. Christ was present with me and is present with me on those walks. I could think of many prepositions concerning Christ's relationship to me.
Christ is...above me, over me, around me, after me, at me, through me, below me, beneath me, beside me, between me, behind me, under me, beyond me, by me, among me, for me, and in me.
Every time I walk up in the dark, and that strange surge of fear clutches me, my lips cry the claim Christ holds to my soul. I find comfort. For, Christ is greater than my fears because more fundamentally than the fears are a part of me, Christ is a part of me.
Recently I attended the wedding of a friend, and my brother and mother and some friends performed a wonderful Capella song for ceremony, Christ My Lord. The beautifully melodic song began, and to my wonder, it was nothing less than a putting of my heart's cries into music, with "Christ" and a perfectly placed prepositional phrase for each line,
Christ above me,
Christ beside me,
Christ within me, ever-guiding
Christ behind me,
Christ before,
Christ my love, my light, my Lord...
How wonderfully appropriate the song was for marriage! My friend and her fiance committed to having Christ with them, when they are afraid or joyful. But I, alone at night, what have I to fear? I suppose the only thing I have to fear is forgetting Christ's presence.
The darkness may be over me, around me, before me, beside me, or under me, but it is not in me, it is not beyond me, and it is not for me. "The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it" (John 1:5, ESV). The darkness will not consume me. But not everyone is safe from the darkness.
“The eye is the lamp of the body. So, if your eye is healthy, your whole body will be full of light, but if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light in you is darkness, how great is the darkness! (Matthew 6:22-23, ESV)" If you are walking in darkness, you will be welcomed to its embrace, not just physically, but spiritually. You have reason to fear.
My prayer is two-fold. If you are Christ's, if your eye is healthy, if you see life from the correct point of view, may you be assured that "He will never leave you nor forsake you" (Heb. 13:5, ESV). You are in the light, walk in it (Eph. 5:8, ESV). You have nothing to fear.If you know not Christ, the light of the world, and the one who is truth, then my prayer for you is to stop walking in darkness. "The way of the wicked is like deep darkness, they do not know over what they stumble" (Prov. 4:19). Turn to Christ, for he is The Way, and there is no other (John 14:6).
"There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love" (I John 4:18). Christ's love has driven out fear
Love God.
Fear none.
