Thursday, December 13, 2012

The Disciplines in Retrospect

The semester is over.  Today I turn in three essays and take my final final exam.  I get in a car, travel East and then take a long train home. I will receive a final grade for this class. I will probably never see some of the people from this class again.  When I return I will have new professors, classes, and classmates, and in the further future, this class will be only a letter on a report card on my transcript.  Will it have made a difference in my life?
   Well you have learned a thing or to about me and probably know that everything I do I believe has purpose.  Of course this class will matter.  The questions are: how? why? For whom?  My professor gave us a list of six reflection questions that help me see how I have responded to the disciplines, and how they might benefit others.  Saddle up, we got some questions to answer.
   1. Foster says spiritual disciplines are not designed to be ends in themselves, but are intended to facilitate a person's journey into grater freedom in living a Christ-like life.  How did your practice of the disciplines this semester (either some in particular or all together) help you grow in your faith in and obedience to God? 
           These disciplines challenged me in many ways to be more intentional in my walk and to glorify God by being active inseeking Him in a variety of ways. 
      One of the ways in which I grew in obedience was through submission.  I had several applications for discipline to my life, but the greatest one was through submistting to my authorities.  I recieved back a paper with a grade with which I was not content.  I struggled to submit to the authority of my teacher.  I did nonetheless, and have resolved the situation by appealing to higher authority, but I have come to realize that I am beholden to some, and that obedience to God means obedience to those whom God places over you. 
    I have also learned obedience through surrender in the discipline of fasting.  I discovered the Biblical mandate for fasting, and had one of my first, full experiences with the discipline.  It was one of the things that I have not had in my life, and that God expects of Christians.
   Perhaps in general God has challenged me to take my relationship with him more seriously through the disciplines collectively.  There are many different ways to worship/experience God, and I have seen the value in each.  Some work better for me; some are very challenging.  I feel like these practices have given my life more direction in how to live a holy life of obedience 
2. What were some of the distractions or hindrances that kept you from practicing or practing to the fullest, the assigned disciplines this semester? What does this show you about yourself? How do you plan to address this area (or these areas of struggle)
   I found that the major barriers to my practice of discipline were my business, silence, my laptop, daydreaming, and sin in general.  First, I found that I was busy.  As reflected in a lot of my posts, I did not thoroughly practice the discipline as would have been ideal. It was difficult for me to remember to do things throughout the week for this class, as opposed to a set assignment.  As often happens in my life, other things got in the way of my focus on God.
  Silence was another barrier to the disciplines.  The day that I practiced a day of total silence, I both loved it and hated it.  I loved it because I felt free from wasting words; I hated it because I was not free from wasting thoughts.  I struggled to control my thought life, especially during this time where I felt almost ruled by my thoughts.     
   Facebook.  It is an icon for the various distractions that are found on the internet.  It used to be a part of my day, every day, sometimes for a lot of the day.  As of today, I have fasted from Facebook for one week.  So here I am applying one of the spiritual disciplines I just learned to correct this area of weakness in my life and find time for  the priorites God has given me and avoid distractions. 
   Daydreaming has been another stumbling block for me in the spiritual disciplines, as it has been in all of my life.  Especially in disciplines like prayer and meditation, I struggled to stay focused on God.
  Finally, the ever-persistent struggle of the Christian with sin has nagged upon my soul, especially during the disciplines.
In failing at the disciplines we practice them.  I feel like I struggled practicing the disciplines for different, but that struggle part of the discipline, not distinct from it, in that in embodying this attitude for a set period of time I could see how it could transform my life, and my short-comings.  As I said in my Worship blog, "Some of these pitfalls can be corrected by a change in scheduling, others go deep into my attitude and heart intentions." 
3. Identify three disciplines you think mesh togetgher well and explain how you see them interrelating. How would you plan to practice them together?
 Three disciplines that mesh well are prayer, fasting, and meditation.  Throughout the Bible, prayer and fasting are found together, and God uses them to accomplish great things.  At the same time, meditation is an act of being filled with God's spirit.  What better time to seek fulfilment than when you are empty, phyiscally, from food, and can nurture your soul's longing with a focus on God?  Sure, being hungry might be a distraction from prayer and meditation, but one can the use the time to practice denying the desires of the flesh, and thus leanrning to chose which longings to satisfy.
      Fasting has various purposes (Whitney 156-170): to strengthen prayer, seek God's guidnace, to express grief, to invoke the presnece of God, to express repentance and return to God, to seek self-humbling, and to show show concern for the work of God.   Fasting also comes in handy in Spiritual warfare and is effective in helping one ward off temptation.  It is a way that we reorder our priorities (Prince, 176) and focus on the kingdom of God.
4. Identify one discipline you would urge a new believer to practice.  How would you ionstruct them ion the discipline? Why do you think thsi disciop;ine is especially well-suited to the formation of a new believer?
 The discipline that I would recommend for a new believer would be fasting.  All of the disciplines are wonderful and important as means to glorify God.  However, for a new believer, fasting is so--well-maybe unappetizing.  That's the point.
   I think a new believer gets a taste of most of the disciplines in some form or another when they start to hang out with Christians, learn about the Christian life, and go to church.  However, fasting is perhaps the most overlooked of the spiritual disciplines.  More importantly, fasting provides a venue in which to practice the other disciplines.  When we are fasting, we are prone to worship the God who provides all things, humbled to confess our sins, calmed to meditate, focused to pray, dedicated to want to study, silenced to listen to God, and humbled to submit to His will.
    Weakness.  When we fast (let's say for the time being from food) we become weak.  Our body is processing less calories, thus making less enegry, thus making us more tired.  We don't have as much strength as a fully fed body.  As Romans says, "For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly"(Romans 5:6 ESV).  We often connect with God best at times of weakness. 
The new believer can experience first-hand the kind of commitment that it takes to be a Christian.  Not that this is legalism, but on the contrary, fasting is a discipline that is hard to fake.  One can pretend or half-heartedly pray or worship (not saying that new Christian would be more prone to this than I am).  Fasting is merely a unique and powerful experience that serves many purposes for the Christian, and lets them behold the power of God in transforming them and answering prayers.
5. Spiritual disciplines fortify believers against some of the universal struggles and weaknesses all Christians have battled against.  Identify and secribe an area of weakness you observe in the Kuyper College student population. What spriual discipline, if corporately practiced, would target this area of weakness and why?
    It is difficult to say what weaknesses the Kuyper College community has, for different habits of living foster different attitudes in people, and different backgrounds of people from different faiths have different priorities.  However, I will audaciously address two areas.
       1. Addictions.  It seems like most people have some kind of addiction or another.  If you bring the topic up in honest (and perhaps private) conversation, you would be surprised what some people would say.  Addictions can be as harmlessly looking as Facebook.  They can be as 'necessary' as overeating.  They can be 'innocent' as gossip.  They can be as 'strong' as pride.  They can be as seductive as lust, as paralyzing as fear, as busy as anxiety, and as forgotten as loneliness.  Two things are true.  We are not alone in our addictions, and we are not justified in our addictions.
         What do we do?  What do I do?  First, I will say what one doesn't do with an addiction-nothing.  Complacency is almost as bad as feeding the addiction.  Two things must take place.  We must turn away from our sin and turn to God.  This begins by recongnizing our sin.
    Logically, the discipline to utilize is confession.  God has given it as the means whereby we acknowledge His power in our lives and give Him our sin.  We cannot bear it, and He has died that we may be free from it. "For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery" (Galatians 5:1 ESV).  Christ has already set us free from sin (John 8:36).  We must however, confess our sin when we fall, expecting forgiveness (I John 1:9).  We need Christ to forgive and cleanse us (see Ps. 51).  One of my favorite lines from a song (among many) is by Tenth Avenue North: "In me, Oh Lord can you create a pure heart because I'm afraid that I just might run back to the things that I hate."  As we struggle in a love-hate relationship with our sin, God has an unconditional love for us (see Ps. 103: 17, Is. 54:8, and Jer. 31:3).  That should be an encouragement.

    2.  Idleness.  I will re-quote one of my favorite quotes from Foster this semester, "Now when I speak of mind pollution I am not thinking only of 'bad' books, films and so on, but of mediocre books and films.  You see unless we set before ourselves a 'habitual vision of greatness' we will surely degenerate" (Foster, 93).  This was cited from the discipline of study.  America is ruled (speaking of addictions) by a spirit of anti-intellectualism, not only in academics, but also in thorough study of the Bible.
     I mean not to mock any of my friends but be blunt.  I have often been criticized for passing-over social events, entertainment, or other distractions for the sake of my schoolwork.  I am called now in my life to be a student!  So is everyone else at grade school, college, or above who is reading this.  That calling is from God.  Our weakness is in that we are not embracing it in heart and soul.  The Bible speaks repeatedly about sloth, especially in Proverbs.  God has called us to work.
    What discipline ought to counter this?  I think study and prayer.  Study should not just characterize our devotional life, but also our interactions, in that we are being intentional and earnest.  We ought to re-evaluate our calling as students in light of Scripture and seek to study how we are living and how that ought to change.
      Second, prayer is important.  If we are dedicated our lives to God and seeking God's will, I know that He will call us to be obedient.   Obedience is holiness, and as we fellowship, we can seek discernment upon how that is manifested.  The monks believed that work and prayer should compliment each other and guide their lives.  They were right.  The two must go together. 
   Corporately, confession would ideally be practiced in small groups or with accountability partners.  Corporately, study could be practiced in Bible Studies (suprise!)

6. What advice would you give to the next class of spiritual formation students at Kuyper College who will be practicing these disciplines? 


     1.  Prepare to be changed.  We never know what change will be like.  I simply advise you to have your heart open and sensitive to God, and to cover the experience with prayer, worship, and humility.  God is so holy, and you must prepare your heart to experience Him in new ways.  I advise you to start a habit of confession as you encounter the disciplines, for God may not fully work in your heart if you appease un-confessed sin or inner resentment.
    2. Put the time into it.  These disciplines will take work, some more than others.  Try to make a plan on how to practice them at the beginning of the week, and do your best to try and follow it.  If you fail, well at least you tried!  Read the chapters in Foster.  Highlight take notes, apply and apply.  This is practical Christian living, not just ideas.  Make it as real, as close, and as frightening as possible. 
   3.  Be patient.  Change comes slowly at time.  Expect God to be reorienting your desires and priorities, but don't be upset if you don't see immediate results.  The Word of God always has the right effect, but not always on our intended terms. Be patient with yourself in growing, be patient with others' growing (or seeming lack therof) and be patient with God.
     4. Put your heart into it.  I can't say what this class or these disciplines will do for you.  I can say that they are changing my life.  I am still processing what I have learned and how I will continue the disciplines.  Nevertheless, I am doing this with an open and sincere heart.  I want to serve God and glorify Him.
                      Take my life and let it be
                    consecrated, Lord, to Thee
   

For the Reader: Thank you for following my blog this semester.  It has been a wonderful journey I have learned much, and I pray you have gleaned a gem or two of truth.  This class is over, as is my obligation to maintain this blog.  However, I have enjoyed blogging, and perhaps I will continue.  I won't yet give a promise of how often, but suffice to say that you will see some posting popping up from time to time.  Feel free to check-in and comment!  I am interested to hear your reactions to these disciplines and my life (or why else would I share it with you?). 
Keep Christ at the center.
Blessings, 
Andrew Johnson

Friday, December 7, 2012

Submission in Real Life

An eerie light from a small window above lights stalls of a dark dragon stable.  Holding a spear, an armored man walks through the shadows towards a menacing beast.  He raises the spear.  The chained dragon begins flailing about as the man yells "SUBMIT!"  The dragon smacks the man, throwing him against the wall. The real rider of the dragon comes up to the dragon and calms it.  Not unlike Toothless, it submits to its master.  That is meekness.  Meekness is not weakness but power under control.  Submission is not only the calming and control of ourselves, but the absolute surrender to another.


  Foster discusses different acts of Submission that believers are expected to live out. The first is submission to the Triune God.  The second is submission to Scripture.  The third is submission to our family.  The fourth is submission to our neighbors and those with whom we often interact.  The fifth is submission to the body of Christ (believers).  The sixth is submission to the broken and despised.  The seventh is submission to the world. 
   I had no real plan in practicing discipline this week.  I sort of slacked-off on that.  I did get to seriously considering the chapter yesterday.  I did some reflection, reading of Scripture, and as I kept an eye out for it, found some surprising applications.
  The reflection questions in Foster's book challenged me by asking which of the acts of submission I struggled with the most.  I struggled most with submitting to the broken and to the world.  I am kind of afraid to reach out to mentally challenged, homeless, or poor people.  I also don't really care about my community and the world that much in that I am not very concerned about environmental issues or sociological problems.  I should pray more about how God can lead me to grow in these areas.  I did not do anything about that this week.  So there's that.
  A pastor usually has three points, but I have four-four ways in which this theme of submission cut strait to my heart.  First, I read I John sometime this week.  The last words are, "Little children, keep yourselves from idols" (I John 5:1).  This week (wow, I'm using the word 'week' often, how weak) I was kind of obsessed with a certain video game that was draining my time and focus on God like a mosquito drains your blood.  I was about to play the game again when I remembered this verse and mustered my will-power and did homework instead.  Granted their were relapses, which I effectively smothered last night, but I felt genuinely convicted by Scripture. 
  Second, one of my beloved suit mates presented a message at a worship night this past night.  The message was not on submission necessarily, but I was convicted by a fact that I was not giving God 100% of my life.  Besides video games, another hindrance and distraction in my life has been Facebook.  I made a long post, resigning Facebook at least for a time (Fasting-funny how those other disciplines pop up!). 
I wrote
   "What should be on my mind?  My duty: a responsibility as a child of God to obey him, and offer 100% of my being to God in worship, sacrifice, and devotion.  What is Facebook doing?  Hindering that.  I come on here to waste time or feel good.  Jesus didn't waste time in obeying the Father every moment of His life.  It didn't feel good. He lived worship.  I'm making my life worship right now by fasting from this blue page incessantly on my screen.  I was just convicted that giving Jesus 99% is just as selfish and sinful as giving him 0% or 1%.  He asks for 100%.  That is surrender." And this is submission.  In the surrender there is freedom, for you are in Christ.
   Thirdly, I took a test this morning with a class.  Socializing after the frustrating experience, we all agreed that we did terrible.  Everyone was upset.  Some considered it unjust.  I was upset that I had not studied more.  But despite the resentment, I recognized that this professor was in charge, and I had to submit to him.
   The fourth point I am hesitant to discuss, for it is in no way resolved, and I have strong emotions surrounding it.  I'm going to try to share it, because there is truth somewhere.  I received back a graded ten-page essay today.  I got a low grade, lower than I probably have ever received on any essay in any of my classes over my life.  I am very disappointed in the grade.  I am most disappointed in the fact that I consider most of the grading critiques, comments, and conclusions to be rubbish.  This is not fair.
      I went to a difficult grade school: probably more difficult than most.  I started learning Latin in third grade.  Once I got to middle school and above, I did not always get A's.  I got lots of things wrong, and was challenged constantly to work harder.  Nevertheless, I was content in receiving justice for my grades, and even at times grace (i.e. canceling or postponing of assignments).  Sometime I did "right," sometimes I did "wrong," but I always trusted my authorities, because I was always told "why."
    Oh, great I just thought of Job, maybe that's who I'm being like.  God doesn't answer "why" to Job.  One of my professors discussed the story of Job and said that the lesson Job learned was that "It's not who you are, but whose you are." 
    My identity is not in any paper.  I could fail and butcher every academic assignment for the rest of life, and never lose my standing with God.  He is my standard of justice and accomplishment.  My attitude needs correction, for I don't work to please myself or even my teachers.
    "Bondservants, obey in everything those who are your earthly masters, not by way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord. Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ. For the wrongdoer will be paid back for the wrong he has done, and there is no partiality" (Colossians 3:22-25 ESV). 
   I don't know how this frustrating paper and circumstances will be resolved, but I do know that God has appointed this teacher, and my responsibility is to submit to her, and that means agreeing to do work and receive grades from her.  Do I have cause for arguing my case?  Is that in-contentment  or a desire for justice and truth?  How far should I go to look for it justice?  Is this submission? 
    I did some running today and came to a spot in the woods.  I fell to my knees and prayed to God.  Reflecting, I thought that we as humans are so foolish to spend so much time standing on our feet.  Do we really think that we are really that much taller?  I think about when Isaiah says
     It is he who sits above the circle of the earth,
        and its inhabitants are like grasshoppers;
    who stretches out the heavens like a curtain,
        and spreads them like a tent to dwell in;
(Isaiah 40:22 ESV)
   God is so great and we are so small.
   Can't we fall to our knees just to say that is where we are meant to be-surrendered to His will and helpless apart from Him?
 As we prepare our hearts to celebrate Christmas, we celebrate the greatest submission ever: God taking  the form of man.  God coming to earth in the form of Jesus Christ.  Jesus submitted to the Father with every breath.   
                         Take my breaths, Father God, for even they are from you.